“The Mastery of Love” by Don Miguel Ruiz
This is a book I gave to my friend as a gift 2 years ago.
I am rereading it again and I want to share you this book to those who have not read this yet.
This book is for anybody who wants to practice self-love and forgiveness and who is reflecting their relationship with their own selves and others.
These are my favorites quotes from this book:
I hope you enjoy my comments and questions for self-reflections 🙂
In order to protect our emotional wounds, and because of our fear of being hurt, humans create something very sophisticated in the mind: a big denial system. In that detail system we become the perfect liars. We lie so perfectly that we lie to ourselves and we even believe our own lies. We don’t notice we are lying, and sometimes even when we know we are lying, we justify the lie and excuse the lie to protect ourselves from the pain our wounds. (p13)
… when someone says, “You are pushing my button,” It is not exactly true. What is true is that you are touching a wound in his mind, and he reacts because it hurts. (p14)
This is why it is crucial to make time for self-reflection. If you make time for yourself and self-reflect, you can be more aware of your own emotion. You can distinguish your essence from your ego.
- What are somethings that push your button?
- Why do you think it annoys you? What can you get by feeling annoyed?
Shyness is the fear of expression yourself. You may believe you don’t know how to dance or how to sing, but this just repression of the normal human instinct to express love (p33)
Something I tell myself every other day;
I am an expression of love.
I am no longer the victim from ego which feeds in self-doubt and fear
I no longer need to hold on lower vibration because
I radiate in beautiful vibration
I am here to shift vibration to a higher level than yesterday
The limit of your self-abuse is the limit you will tolerate from other people. (p41)
I still remember how this quote helped me love myself. I still remember how this quote helped me understand about myself. Although, this was sometimes confusing because I had to question whether I did not love myself even if I thought I was, this was such a power wisdom for me to remind myself in the past.
We choose to suffer because we learned to suffer (p182)
Regarding Ego to Love
If we have the awareness, we have the opportunity to heal our emotional body, our emotional mind, and stop the suffering. Without the awareness, there is nothing we can do. The only thing we can do is to keep suffering from the interaction with other humans, but not just with other humans, the interaction with our self, because we also touch our wounds just to be punished (p36-37)
I still have things I want to wash away. Since, I am more aware than yesterday, I make conscious choice everyday to shed away from this self-imprisonment. There are days I still choose to be shackled into my own beliefs. I forgive myself and I don’t punish myself for not being the way I want to be. Instead, I give compassion to myself and welcome my new beautiful day.
Regarding Love / Essence
The normal frequency of humans before domestication (meaning socially built; be exposed in ego) is to explore and to enjoy life; we are tuned to love (P25)
Everything that exists is perfect. You are perfect just the way you are. That is the truth. (p183)
Regarding Self Love
You are what you are, and that is all you are (p81)
You don’t need to pretend to be something else. When you pretend to be what you are not, you are always going to fail. (p81)
If you look at your body, you will find billions of living beings who depend on you. Every cell in your body is a living being that depend on you. (p145)
Your body is perfect the way it is, but we have all those concepts about right and wrong, good and bad, beautiful and ugly. These are just concepts, but we believe them, and that’s the problem (p147)
You have the right to feel beautiful and enjoy it. You can honor your body and accept it as it is. (p153)
It is difficult to try to be what are you not, to try to convince yourself and everyone else that you are what you are not. Trying to be what you are not expends all your energy. Being what you are doesn’t require any effort. (p186)
The more you resist, the more you will suffer (p187)
- What are some things you may be telling yourself that you are so you can maintain the image for other people?
- Is this sustainable? What happens if you keep on doing this in 10, 20, 30 years?
- What can you get from creating this energy?
- After finding out about your core values from (2), what are other alternatives you can do to achieve these values?
Regarding Self love – Non-judgement
But if we open our eyes and see life as it is, we can avoid a lot of emotional pain (p114)
If we can see ourselves the way we are, that is the first step toward self-acceptance – toward stopping the self-rejection (p114)
You are never going to be good enough for yourself when the idea of perfection is completely wrong. (p98)
- Honestly speaking, what are some things you judge about yourself?
- Why do you judge about yourself?
- What can you get from judging yourself?
Just because someone rejects you doesn’t mean you have to reject yourself. (p99)
- In your life, what was the most painful rejection you have ever witnessed or experienced?
- Mentally go back to that experience. Usually, when the memory is strongly connected with your emotions, the memory is remembered vividly with bright colors, fast moments etc. Therefore, mentally go back to that experience as a third person. Then, make the scenes in black and white. If there is any conversation, make it very slow.
- Repeat (2) 3 times
- Mentally experience what you wanted to see with vivid colors and sharp sounds.
Regarding Self Love – Forgiveness
There is no other way, but forgiveness to clean the wounds of all the poison (p169)
You will forgive because you feel compassion for yourself.
Forgiveness is an act of self-love. (p170)
Because of pride, because of honor, (because of personal importance, because of ego), we add more fire to the injustice to remind ourselves that we cannot forgive. (p173)
Just let go of the personal importance and forgive (p174)
The truth is that you cannot forgive because you learned not to forgive, because you practiced not to forgive, because you mastered not to forgive . (p172)
When the media bombards our mind with the strongly constructed dualistic view of life, we are subconsciously taught not to love, but to live with ego. It is unhealthy and not real.
Forgiveness is a very challenging yet profound and most compassionate action you can ever bring to yourself. I am still learning everyday to forgive. However, I know I am more able to forgive myself than few years ago.
I feel forgiveness ignites more creative energy. Since, you are unshackled from the dense negativity frequency from your past which was drowning you down, you have more space to take more action in the space of love.
Since, you learned not to forgive yourself, it is crucial to be self-aware so you know in what area you still are not able to practice self-compassion. This is why life is interesting, because there is always more to self-explore which is all from your free will.
When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows. (p175)
You are what you believe you are. There is nothing to do except to be just what you are. (p153)
Energy attracts the same kind of energy, the same vibration (p42)
This is amazingly strange, yet a beautiful truth especially when synchronicity giggles into my life
If you observe self-destructive people, you will see they attract people just like them (p116)
This is sad. Sometimes I want to support them, but I sometimes feel they feel comfortable being in that space. I feel they sometimes want to feel superior by being there because there are more people who are struggling in sadness.
So, I hope by writing blogs or listening to them, I can invite new insights in their lives. I hope it will slowly echoes to their choices of their action and they can be who they can become.
Regarding Love and Fear
That is why fear hurts and love doesn’t hurt (p59)
Love in action can only produce happiness. Fear in action can only produce suffering (p71)
Question to ask in the morning and night time;
Morning: What will you do to take action in love today?
Night: What action did you take in the space of fear? Why? What was the ideal way to respond to in this situation?
The truth is that this person is dealing with his own emotional poison… It has nothing to do with you. There is nothing personal there. If you can see that truth, the way it is, you don’t react (and be wavered to the external events) (P109)
Everything we think, everything we do, has a consequence. If we make a choice, we have an outcome or a reaction. If we don’t make a choice, we have an outcome or a reaction. We are going to experience he consequence of our action in one way or another. (p61)
Before, I was always scared in taking action. All my action, even those that had no action, was based in love. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be accepted. There were times when I wanted to know why people I didn’t even know about didn’t like me. I didn’t want to get hurt, but I wanted to be loved. Such a space of polarity I lived.
Looking back, it was very heavy and dense space I was in. However, books changed my life. I was and am always protected by spirit guides / something greater than me and for they lead me read books that I needed to read to overcome my egos. Thank you for always being there and loving me even in my worst.
You are responsible for the consequences of what-ever you do, think, say, and feel….
If it’s a consequence you enjoy, then keep doing what are doing. But, if you don’t like what is happening in your life, then try to find out what is causing the consequences you don’t like (for self-transformation) (p106)
- What are some things you enjoy doing? Why do you think you enjoy doing it?
- What are some things you don’t enjoy the consequence? Why do you keep on doing it? What are the other alternatives?
Regarding loving relationship
If we look for a partner, it is because we want to play, we want to be happy and enjoy what we are (p101)
If we love, we want the best for those we love. Why abuse them because we are full of fear and emotional poison? (p102)
If you are generous with your love, everybody is going to love you… Your generosity will open all the doors, not your selfishness… Selfishness comes from poverty in the heart, from the belief that love is not abundant (p102 – 103)
What was your favorite quotes?
Comment in the below 🙂
Share with your friends who may enjoy this book!