How to have a healthy relationship with yourself – 10 must- have concepts to live by

If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, you will feel miserable.

What I mean by relationship with yourself is how you talk to yourself and the mindset you have with yourself. This becomes very important because

your inner dialogue will be the fuel to your action. Your reality is the accumulation of your action which is propelled by your thought.

When you have a healthy relationship with yourself, it is very crucial to have the following concepts in mind:


You are not a friend to yourself.

Think yourself as your business partner

who you want to work / build empire with.


I suggest, “not a friend” because sometimes with most people, there may not be intention when building your friendship. However, with business partner, you have a sense of commitment you want / have to take. This is same with yourself;

You want to be committed in living your life;

You want to be saying, “Oh! I lived my life without regret!”

You want to have a sense / you need to realize that

you are the creator of your own life for you to live your ideal state of living.



Business partner who has a vision and working toward it

Like in a company, there is always a vision and everybody is working toward the goal. Similar to that, you want to have a vision and all your cells, thoughts, and muscles are working toward that goal. You want to have this because if you have a vision or a direction, you feel un-lost. You feel safe. You feel okay because you feel you are aligned with what you want  / need to do. When you are working toward this vision, you will feel you are living your values. When you feel you are living your values, human feel happy because it is essentially who they are.

However, one must be careful that this vision is not ego based like “wanting to be recognized” etc. It must come from within. It must come from your passion. I, personally, feel there are clues in your past which shows your ideas of your purpose. (will write a blog about this)

Moreover, your vision will be forever changing / forever building. It is not something you suddenly get only 1 vision. It is a process. It is in the process of self-discovery that you find your vision.

You need to take action in order for you to live and find answers to your vision.

If you keep on waiting for things to happen, nothing will happen. If you keep on “Just thinking in your mind and not doing anything,” you will not reach anywhere.

As Einstein says, “Insanity is when you do the same thing expecting a different result” This is true. You must take action to find your answers.





Business partner who focuses on what they want instead of what they don’t want

Would you like to have a business partner who just focuses on what they don’t want when you are trying to build something? “I don’t think we should do this. This seems bad. Why is she / he so stupid? …” This kind of communication leads you to nowhere.

Unfortunately, most people focus on what they don’t want. Since, this is focusing on things they don’t like, the action they can take will be limited. This way, in a sense, is comfortable because it is clear; people know what they don’t want than what they do want. Also, it is also nice because you are being heard. Most people just want to dwell in the pain without solution because they want to share their pain to be understood of their suffering which they choose to be in.

However, focusing on what you don’t want without getting closer in creating countermeasure is disempowering. You will also only attracts people who feel comfortable speaking only about ‘what they don’t want’ because people who like to talk about what they want will feel this kind of energy is meaningless, draining and heavy. Then, you will only be surrounded with people who like to make complaints to avoid confronting themselves.

Therefore, consciously choose to focus on what you want.



Business partner who is empowering  and compassionate / not sabotaging  or too realistic


Would you like to have a business partner who sabotages your every move? No. You would want a business partner who can be realistic, but also encouraging.

In the end of the day, you only have yourself. Therefore,

you must create your own method to encourage yourself and motivate yourself because nobody can do that for you. You cannot rely on others to make you feel good. You must be able to generate on your own.



Business partner who identify the issue and create counter measure / not avoiding

Would you want a business partner who closes their eyes when there is a problem when you are trying to build a company? … If they avoid it, the problem will multiply. Same pattern will happen again until you realize your lesson.

Similar to this, in your life, you want to be able to confront the situation with compassion, identify the issue and come up with the best solution in your current circumstances. If that solution does not work, then create a new one. It is a ‘trial and error’ It is a process.



Business partner who commits to his / her action

Committing to your action is hard. However, commitment is crucial if you want to realize your ideas because without commitment, you will not able to create anything.

Without commitment, your idea will just be an idea in your head.

With that kind of attitude, nothing will happen. It will be like being in a room and complaining how boring it is when you have a choice to walk and open the door to see the other side of the room.

Therefore, be committed to realizing your ideas. I, personally, feel ideas are there because you have the potential to realizing it. If you have no potentials, you will not be able to think about it in the first place. Therefore, honor your ideas by taking action to realizing it 



Business partner who reflects and learn from a mistake / not repeating the same thing

Imagine having a business partner who continuously chooses to do the same thing even if it did not work for the previous 10 times straight?

Unfortunately, many people have this approach because they don’t want to confront their root cause of the issue since it is painful. However, this approach will only bring in more pain because it will only bring in similar people and events in your life until you learn.

Therefore, schedule a time to reflect to learn from the pattern of the problem.



Business partner who takes responsibility / not constantly affected by external circumstances

If you never live your life as if you are creating own life, you will continuously blame other people and events for all the unfortunate events.

You will feel more powerless because you will be giving power to other people.
You will feel more hatred in life because you will feel life is giving you shit when actually life is giving you lesson opportunity for you to become more loving or understanding.

Although, blaming others and events are easy and it makes you feel better for a short period of time, you will feel more bitter and more stuck because you won’t know how to fix the situation since the action itself becomes more habitual.


know and act as

you are the script writer, the director and the main actor of your own life movie. 



Business partner who gives gratitude

If you have a business partner who gives gratitude, how will you feel? You will feel more enriching and abundant because you are focused on the good things in the situation.




Business partner who practices a great balance of give / receive

Imagine having a business partner who only gives to others …. The other people will start exploiting them because they will feel it is okay to do that. Instead, imagine having a business partner who only feels comfortable receiving because he / she believes they are not enough. Hence, they need to have more and more. Then, they will never feel satisfied. They will always feel empty.

Hence, it is important to focus on having a balance of giving and receiving.

Therefore, for the people who give too much, it is important to practice asking for support. This will help them feel more loved and supported by others. Also, ask why you learned to be more giving than receiving… Do you secretly believe that you need to give to be loved? ….

In other hand, those people who receives a lot, first, go back to their past and ask yourself why you feel lack of inner abundance. Trace where you learned to feel scarce.



Business partner who communicates / not suppress / gets angry / sad from suppression

Imagine having a business partner who seems like they are doing great, but get extremely emotional when there is a trigger because they have been suppressing their real emotion everyday. This is not a business partner you would like to have.

Like this, it is extremely crucial for one to be honest with their real emotion. Suppressing maybe a temporal fix, but it will not be sustainable. Eventually, your body will start giving you messages by having physical ailments. Moreover, you will be experiencing similar painful life events until you get the idea of the message. 

Moreover, many people suppress how they have been hurt in their childhood. This is not healthy because this will affect your relationship with people and yourself.

Confront this emotion through support or with yourself for you to be free from being a victim of the past.


Some of the tips are overlapping.

However, it just means how important the concept it is!

I hope you find some inspiration or new insights from these tips!

These again are suggestions for your journey!

If you have any questions, do let me know.

If you want to do free private 60 min session, do let me know. (in person  / on-line)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s