6 STEPS when dealing with obstacles / argument in a relationship

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Picture by @Rob Piazza / https://www.robpiazza.com/

One of the key reasons why we have great relationship even in our down time is …

we always try to focus on ourselves 

We do not focus on … 

how the other person should change

👆👆 👆Doing this will not solve anything 👆👆 👆

This is a very pointless approach to expect the other person to change.

We have to take ownership on our action. 

We focus on ourselves by identifying …. 

  1. what are our negative emotion
  2. what are our disempowering self talk 
  3. what are our triggers (what specific things make us feel negative)
  4. why we are triggered (Ask ‘what can you get by feeling negative”) 
  5. what action can we take to increase the possibility for the desired outcome to happen


6. Write down your ideal situation as if it already happened and give gratitude as if it already happened!

*** Of course sharing this is important to have mutual understanding **** 

For instance, personally speaking (answering the above points) 

  • #1-1.  I get irritated when there are reoccurring issues that indirectly or directly affects my business with my partner side
  • #1-2. I was annoyed when my partner would run away and not try to find solution


  • #2. Disempowering Self Talk: “なんでわからないの?」”Why doesn’t he know?”
  • #3. / 4. I was triggered because I really wanted to make my business work to fulfill my purpose (subconsciously).  I get irritated because I subconsciously felt  I was not able to fulfill my purpose in the pace I wanted
  • #5. Instead of focusing on what the other person is doing wrong,

I asked myself, “What can I do to make progress in my business” 

I remind myself everyday, “I am making progress in my business and that I am okay” 

At the end of the obstacle or an argument, as for #6, I would give gratitude as if the ideal situation has already happened: 

  • how my partner is amazing
  • how his action has changed because of my empowered action


Through doing this process, my disempowering self talk has disappeared because

I redirected my focus in what I want,

instead of what I don’t want and

I took ownership of my inner state

Interestingly, after I began doing the gratitude notebook and thanking before it happening, my partner began to take ownership of his action and words! 

Sometimes doing this alone is difficult 

If you would like a third person who would like to assist your journey to more love and understanding, apply for my 90 min Free Trial session to see whether my logical & loving approach matches





(I can also provide relationship life coaching as well)




If you want your photo taken by this amazing photographer, do contact him thru his website!

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