In a relationship, it is important to provide secure + homely relationship!
Although, in our society we celebrate “independence”, we cannot always be “me me me” in a relationship. The below attitude is such a big NO NO attitude
“I do me. You do you. Even if you don’t like it, I will do it any way.”
The above approach will never work in the long term. With this approach, you will make the other partner feel not accepted and respected.
If you are serious about your relationship, ask and respond accordingly to the below question
- What makes my partner tick or irritated?
- What are the trigger for that irritation?
- What can I do to make my partner feel good during that time?
For example, with me …
- My partner get overwhelmed / irritated …. when I ask him things which I would like to have the answer right now
- The trigger is … when my partner already has a lot of things in his mind
- What can I do is …. asking him “Is it okay to speak now?”
By changing my action, the benefit I reaped was …
- I respect his boundary ( I can become more of somebody who I want to become)
- He is in a better state to listen to me
- I can decrease the frequency of dealing with his defensiveness
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